Friday, December 21, 2012
No permit for freaky deaky at local swingers club • This old man, he played knick knack in the pool • Girls Gone Wild: Tinley Park ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
When you let your freak flag fly, be forewarned of these lessons from the Patch files: Don't shove your flag in someone else's face. It's possible someone will dislike the joy you take in life. And the man will shut you down if you don't have a permit for your freaky deaky. What, Don't You Have a Dungeon Room? The businessman who once owned The Colosseum night club in Mokena saw the sex club he ran in rural Will County shut down this spring. Police found a dungeon room, sex swings and an orgy room in a cabin-style home in Beecher called "Club Erotica." Its motto was "If it feels good, do it." Orgies, replete with laser-light shows and taxidermied animals, took place there until Will County authorities shut it down for lack of proper …
Can you see me now? • If you're going to commit a crime, give the cops a hand by posting your crimes on YouTube • Wet-laundry smackdown ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
People do stupid things. And sometimes those stupid things lead to felony charges, as was the case with these incidents from the Patch files. Ferris Bueller's Evil Twin? A 20-year-old man arrested in the New Lenox Village Commons in August and cited for underage drinking was stopped again later in the evening after an officer spotted him walking in the middle of the street. The cop rolled down his window and told Jerome Dudko to get on the sidewalk, but Dudko decided to grab the officer's eyeglasses, scream profanities and run away. Police said Dudko scratched the officer's eyes, which required treatment at the hospital. Other officers arrived at Dudko's house and took the young man, kicking and screaming, into custody. The officer's …
Double-fisted spooning doesn't cut it • Big breakfast surprise at McDonald's • What, doesn't everyone doodle at work? ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Woman Brings Spoons to a Knife Fight: A woman cutting pork chops in the meat department in September at Sam's Club in Tinley Park was confronted by another woman wielding a pair of large spoons. Daniela Griffin, 24, said she was so afraid of being hit by a spoon she raised her hands and "accidentally" cut the other woman's nose with her pork-chop knife. Police charged Griffin with reckless conduct. On Tinley Park Patch A Sharp Start to the Morning: A McDonald's customer in Oak Forest returned home with a Big Breakfast and she got a big surprise, discovering a razor blade beneath her scrambled eggs in April. The woman notified police, who said the manager of the restaurant told police razors are used to "clean tight corners" on their …
Monster energy for an extended pill-popping workout? • You can't smoke 'em if you don't got 'em • Oil me up and rub me down or death will take you ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Weird stuff happens on the job sometimes. Maybe He Had a Big Night Planned: Is that a Monster energy drink in your pocket, Seamus, or are you just happy to see me? A store clerk in Oak Forest told police he caught Seamus P. Scanlan, 21, leaving the store with two Monster energy drinks in his pants — and four packages of Extenze penis enlargement pills — on Jan. 7. Scanlan was charged with retail theft. On Oak Forest Patch Swisher Unsweets: "Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar," said Groucho Marx. And so it's entirely justified that a man would fly into an inconsolable rage upon learning that a Mobil gas station in Chicago Heights was out of his favorite cigar. So distraught was he, the man attacked…
forget me
1:36 am on Monday, December 31, 2012
What an insult to our veterans. Like they were hanging out inpools naked ' more ›