Two Men Dump Dates and Take Their Cash in Worst Blind Date Ever: OMGPD

A nude dude needs kneading, a senior-citizen hooker bust and Miley Cyrus meanies this week in the annals of Chicagoland crime-n-shame.

OMGPD, a collection of Patch Chicago's weird and noteworthy crime, posts weekly.

Worst Blind Date Ever? Two women on a double blind date in Elmhurst were literally kicked to the curb by their dates, who took their money and left them by the side of the road, according to police. The women didn't know where the men live or their names. The guys haven't called either, so a second date is probably out of the question. (But it's only been a week. Maybe they'll call.)
» via Elmhurst Patch

Mr. Rub and Tug: After signing a no-nudity pledge at an Oak Lawn spa, a man repeatedly dropped his towel to reveal his man parts to a therapeutic masseuse. When she left the room to call the cops, the nude dude followed her into the hallway. When the cops arrived to cart 31-year-old Essa Wasili off to jail, the freewheeling gent told them: "I don't understand."
» via Oak Lawn Patch

Senior Special: Maybe Mr. Oak Lawn Rub-and-Tug should visit St. Charles for his therapeutic kneadings. For the third time in recent weeks, a masseuse is accused of prostitution. Police said Sun Hee Gribat, age 67 (yes, 67!), offered an undercover cop her senior-citizen special at Royal Spa, 504 E. Main St. (Mr. Wasili, that's at the corner of Main Street and Fifth Avenue, across from the public library and the Methodist church. You can't miss it.)
» via St. Charles Patch

Miley's Meanies: Three men who've come to be known worldwide as the racist Miley Cyrus Gang walked into a Joliet bar, started talking about Miley, screamed racist taunts and then attacked a man drinking Mexican beer and another bar patron who tried to intervene. 
» via Joliet Patch

Bakin' and Bacon: Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. Unless you drive by a cop and yell "pig" from your car. Two loudmouth teens in Elmhurst discovered yelling at a cop will get you written up for anything the cops can find on you. Like pot, for example.
» via Elmhurst Patch

Maybe the Party Was Over? Oh sleepy little Lake Bluff, your police news is so quaint. Called to what was reportedly an underage party in a vacant house, police arrived to find a single person inside who told the cops he was a housecleaner. So, it was kind of like Risky Business, without the hookers, teen-agers, booze, drugs, music and noise.
» via Lake Forest Patch

Customer Appreciation Day: A store employee stocking shelves while kneeling on the floor was startled when a customer walked up and planted a kiss on the employee's head, then walked away. The employee told the cops the lip service wasn't appreciated and the customer could not return to the store.
» via Glenview Patch


Bears Pro Bowler Sticks Up for Bullied Boy: Bears Pro Bowl guard Kyle Long spent part of this past weekend hanging out with a 9-year-old Huntley boy who he promised to support after the boy's father told Long about the bullying his son has endured.
» via Huntley Patch


Missed last week's OMGPD? When Your Naked Housekeeping Fantasy Goes Bad, Don't Blame Christian Mingle

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Frank W. Chupka May 11, 2014 at 06:30 PM
max stoned...always an idiot like you that shows up and supports nobama. bet you voted for him...twice. hows that hope and change workin for ya?
paris brenn May 12, 2014 at 01:35 PM
So two women went on dates w/ two strange guys, and they were robbed? And they didn't know who the guys were....why? Did they meet them in a bar, an hour before? How embarrasing for the both of them! did they tell the police "We go out w/ anyone"? because they do..


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